The older I get, the more I have in common with computers. We both start out with lots of memory and drive, then we become outdated, crash unexpectedly, and eventually have to have our parts replaced.
As I look back over the past year, I wonder what I accomplished. 365 days of waking up every day. Putting my pants on one leg at a time. Am I the only one who does that?
Are there things you do that you’re certain others don’t do? Let the water run while you’re brushing your teeth? Drive barefoot? Put your creamer in your coffee cup before the coffee so it doesn’t cool down the hot liquid? Do you open your mouth when you put on mascara? Do you have a landline at home? Do you wet your toothbrush, put toothpaste on the toothbrush, wet toothbrush again, and then brush your teeth? But enough about me.
I Googled am I the only one? The number one entry is from the Urban Dictionary, and the definition is as follows:
A pointless phrase that is most often used on the internet.
It is used to whore for attention, because if someone is asking whether or not he or she is the only one, he or she should already know that the answer is “no,” yet proceeds to ask anyway. Thus, “am I the only one” disguises a statement of opinion as a question.
Perhaps you’re someone who believes everything they read on the internet. I found this great quote, which was attributed to Helen Keller. I am only one, but still I am one. I cannot do everything, but still I can do something; and because I cannot do everything, I will not refuse to do something I can do.
It’s not a Helen Keller quote after all. It has often been misattributed to her in some published works since at least 1980, perhaps because she somewhere quoted it. It was in fact said by American author and Unitarian clergyman Edward Everett Hale.
Here are more “everyone else does” things I’m sure you or a loved one do:
* You pace around the house while you’re on a long phone call
* You spell out Wednesday like Wed-nes-day in your head when you’re writing it. (See also: Feb-ru-ary.)
* You need a fan blowing on you as you sleep because you like being buried under covers.
* You always feel weird saying your name out loud.
* You put your music on shuffle, but then skip songs until you find the one you want anyway.
* You wonder how many random people have photos with you in the background.
* You still think of the 90s as being only ten years ago.
* You immediately go back and read an email right after you hit send.
* You read the last page of a book before starting the book.
Only some of these statements above refer to me. Care to guess?