Coworking the 60 Blog

Image result for workplace jealousy image

Some people at your job may not like you, but you’re there to make money, not friends.

Do you have someone in your office or workplace who just wants to be in everyone’s business?  Have you been on the receiving end of that someone who wants to get all your details and use them to his/her advantage?

I have a friend (F) who has a coworker (CW) like that.  (By the way, CW is not me!)  CW and F have worked together for years.  When CW was going through a family crisis, she wanted F involved in everything.  And F went along with it.  Met the family, spent holidays together, socialized (a lot) after hours.  But the work day was impossible for F.  Jealousy, in-fighting, work not getting done timely or properly.

As an outsider, I saw the red flags.  Needless to say, F wanted to stay at this job (good benefits, etc.) but she was miserable being around CW.  And then CW found a boyfriend (BF).  Suddenly, CW didn’t need any moral support from F because BF is now everything CW needed.  Except CW is still needy and loves the drama.  From F’s perspective, work is still tense, after-hours socializing is uncomfortable, and F just wants out.

Here is what I read today:

Low levels of self-confidence are characteristic of workplace jealousy.  Those who gossip and belittle co-workers often suffer from a poor self-image and feel like they’ll never measure up to others’ successes. Robert Vecchio, a professor of management at the University of Notre Dame discovered that people who envy others at work have lower self-esteem, according to “The Seattle Times.”  Low self-esteem is a never-ending cycle because those who have low self-confidence aren’t usually chosen for promotions and raises, leading to increased feelings of jealousy.

And that’s exactly it.  CW is jealous of F, probably never liked F, and wishes she could be F. It must be hard for CW to get up everyday and pretend to like F.  Workplace jealousy is like high school all over again.  Competitive workplace relationships add fuel to the fire, making the environment tense and unpleasant.  In the end, jealousy can lead to strife, resulting in hurt feelings and disappointment for those who get shunned or overlooked.

We’ve all had our fair share of workplace indifference or dislike.  But what other people think of you is not your problem.  Get to work on time, keep to yourself and do your work, then go home at the end of the day.  End of story.
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