We met for book club at Deb’s beautiful home–a three-story house with all the steps! I managed to walk up the two flights of stairs to the front door, and then a few steps down to the dining room. I vowed that I would only climb back up those steps and visit the restroom before it was time to leave!
We discussed Killers of the Flower Moon by David Grann and, I admit, Leslie and I didn’t read the book. It’s a nonfiction accounting of the story of the Osage Indians and the creation of the FBI; everyone else attending lunch enjoyed the book. I’ll be donating my copy of the book to the El Toro Friends of the Library so they can make a buck or two. Everyone wins.
Do I love my job? No.
But does it afford me the ability to go on lavish vacations and buy anything I want? Also no.
Of course, after talking about the book and solving all of the world’s problems (arming teachers? Olympic men’s curling winning a gold medal!), we participated in our short-short-story writing exercise. We had been talking about someone’s boss recently spending $32,000 on a safari vacation for him and his wife, and we decided we’d write about how we would spend $32,000.
No. 1: Waiting in the first class lounge at LAX for her flight to Paris, Simone contemplated her good fortune. She’d recently inherited a large sum of money from her grandparents and was lavishly splurging on this trip.
No. 2: How much money you say? $32,000. And I’m gonna spend every freakin’ dollar on the elephants!
No. 1: They said “let that shit go!” and I said “that’s not possible.” It’s gonna cost me $32,000 for that freakin’ safari!
No. 2: I decided to put a down payment on a house instead.
No. 1: One of the perks of the $32,000 safari is that you come home with your own petting zoo.
No. 2: But I wonder where I will put my new giraffe and rhino in my 1000 square foot condo.
No. 1: Leaving Laguna Beach, I could not believe that my inheritance was all being spent on a safari because my husband wanted to play with monkeys and orangutans.
No. 2: But I tried to make the best of it and bought him a tutu and a monkey penis pouch and sent him to the Olympics. [Note: This is definitely worth Googling!]
No. 1: My scratcher lottery ticket put $32,000 in my pocket. I took the whole amount and bought a used RV. I always dreamed of living on the road and being a camping queen.
No. 2: First stop: Death Valley….
No. 1: It was a dark and stormy night when my friend Sandy and I were riding home on the train from Santa Barbara. Our topic of conversation was how we would spend $32,000 if it was given to us. The answer was simple…..
No. 2: How we would spend it…complete plastic surgery—from butt to face. Butt lift, face lift and even some vaginal rejuvenation.
No. 1: I’ve never been on a safari and was invited to join a friend. What does one pack for such a vacation? Shampoo? Deodorant? How do you wash your clothes—in the river?
No. 2: One sundress and a clean pair of underwear. It’s hot!!
How would you spend $32,000?